1. |
we gotta get out of here
01:37
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dead end streets for dead end lives. lock yourself outside of your apartment and come wait for me underneath your porchlight, tonight. on this dead end street for dead end lives. we'll watch the flashing lights of sirens fly by. we'll pop our tires in the potholes that the city cannot fix, and we'll crack open some smokes in front of the 7/11, and we'll find some way out of here by dawn i hope...
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2. |
leaving home
03:07
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i've always been terrified of change, but this living hell has given me much more than i can take. reject, after layoff, after pink slip makes me slip into routines i never thought would end becoming a rotten piece of me. but now is not the time to piss and moan. i'm leaving home, for the first time in so long. i have waited all these years to get up and out of here. i won't be shedding any tears because i'd rather leave than loathe. i'm leaving home, for the first time it's "so long." never been that great with goodbyes, but i just cannot deny, i won't be satisfied until i try to change my status que. im leaving home. been marking my calendar everyday, but the deadline's close and the end keeps getting further away. i've always been terrified of change, but im sick of going with the motion of the ocean. my devotion's set in motion as i take over the reigns. but my family tells me to reconsider, that "this won't work out." but i'd rather follow a plan from high school thank become a college dropout. i'm doing this for me and not you, so thanks for the advice, i guess. but i'm breaking off from this fucking mess.
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3. |
missing
03:15
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i'll miss the ocean, i'll miss ther rain. i'll miss the mist that inveloped me on every cloudy day. i'll miss So It Goes, i'll miss the bay. i'll miss everything in this town someday but...i won't be missing you. every shouting match, every single panic attack. i won't be missing you. i'll miss The Mansion, i'll miss the Egyptian. i'd list more but im running out of clever diction. i know i'm destined for something more, but i lose my train of thought when i hear the banging on my door. you love to push me around, because you know that you will get a payout.
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4. |
inhaler
03:05
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back when i was 18 i would be coughing and gasping after gym, and it was only after graduation i found out that i need an inhaler. i don't think i've ever used it right. every time i try i cough it out. i never read any of the instructions, but i'm sure that i just gotta breathe and hold it in. you said "i'm sorry that i never noticed anything." but i think that i'm the one to blame. i never wanted you to think that something was wrong. so i hide behind that classic line: "you worry too much." back in elemetary i would flip my desk and tried to run away, and until the end of middle school i would act exactly the same. i don't think that i ever really belonged. moving houses never really helped my cause. i felt so distant and so different from my friends and all the strangers in the halls. on that faithful colorado day, my father had something to say. it shook my world to my core, but i think i understand myself a little bit more.
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5. |
god hates everyone
01:13
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god's not real, but if he is, his ways are not mysterious. because he tries to kill us every day. maybe it's for sport, or maybe even just for fun. but if god is real, than he hates everyone. i bet if he was one of us, he would be a stubborn drunk abusing everyone in his way. no matter who it is, the virgin mary or his kid, he is giving them new bruises everyday. but i get why people get tattoos of the cross. it's not just believing in god, but the idea that god's lost faith in us. we're all too scared to think about what happens when we die. but we can make earth heaven if we don't force the rhyme.
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6. |
disappear
02:11
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baby, can we talk for a minute? it's clear that something's changed. your demeanor makes you seem like a total stranger, now you won't even look me in the face. i toss in turn in our bed. wake up in a pool of my own sweat. you haven't uttered a thing in weeks, not even saying "it was something i said." oh god, was it something i said? trying to find the fire that once lit your eyes is like looking at all your past lives side by side. acting like you want to disappear. just give me a sign. you know i can't read minds. it's like there's something that you're trying to hide. and i am beyond terrified. i can feel it in the air tonight. it's not right. now i wanna- no. i'm gonna comb through every little thing, and maybe then we'll see who's right.
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7. |
ghost
03:37
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i feel like a ghost every time i talk to you. every time you talk to me too. we just can't sync up like we thought we could do. i was unconscious when you came to. ruined every chance i had with you. and you ruined every chance you had with me too. i feel like a ghost every morning when i wake up and i open my phone, hoping for a text, some sign of life, i don't fucking know. but i log in to see your profile picture is all greyed out. i'm by myself again. staring at the celling, thinking about how i'll die alone. sink through my mattress i've been stuck in for god knows how long. this game will never end. constantly left on read. all i can dream about is how i'll never love again. i thought you were the one. but it seems i made a miscalculation. i used to call you 'babe'. you used to call me 'hun'. but i think we're both sick of talking to no one. now, we can go back to 'just friends'. but will it quell all our loose ends? it'll be the same as before, because you're a ghost with too much unfinished business to commit to relationships. but, to be fair, i think we're stuck in the same boat. you said this was "for the best" but i've agreed with that statement less and less everyday. let's give this one more chance. won't be the same song and dance. and maybe this time, we can die holding hands. because i feel like a ghost.
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8. |
99.9 FM
04:57
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the beating sun looks down on you and me, as we drive through the desert with no air conditioning. we're blasting the heater so the car won't overheat, not worried at all if we overheat. and if only we could've known that leaving home would be so difficult. i try to find distraction through the radio, but the static cuts through the silence. the station's going out. it never really felt like long ago. that night, when you picked me up and we sped down the road. i left my family on the coastline. the only goodbye i got was a westbound sign. it was everything i wanted and more. but i guess i wasn't enough. you quickly grew bored. you said that "our lives were restored", but now you're one of the many who can now keep score on me. those who've hurt me. those who've accused me, abused me , betrayed me and my trust. it was never gonna be enough. and if only i could've known, looking back at all of the red flags you were putting up. was this a set up? the call on your phone, the smell of your ex's cologne. you always loved to fuck with my benefit of the doubt. the static clouded my judgement. OUR STATION'S GOING OUT.
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9. |
going home
02:51
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i thought we'd make it out alive, but i guess my family was right. i thought it'd work out, because i liked you. but now it all fell apart, and now i hate you. i'm going home. for the last time, it's "so long." i had waited all these years to end up right back here, where i stared. i'm going home. for the last time it's "so long." i used to suck at goodbyes. instead of a wave, you gave a middle finger. no surprise. and that's why i won't be missing you.
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between home & somewhere else Oregon
southern oregon
folk/punk/indie/emo
active since 2022
between home & somewhere else recommends:
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I think this is pretty obvious. I literally worked with the guy who produced this record- Best Tracks: Bells and Whistles, Bad Bad Things, Stormy The Rabbit
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This guy's kinda the reason I scream so much in my stuff. I heard of him from an old YouTube I used to watch, and fell in love. Good shit. Best Tracks: Black Pneumonia, Chowchilla Song, Rabbit 1+2
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Absolute bangers back to front. The only sports-related thing I will ever like. Best Tracks: Tears Over Beers, See Ya Sucker, Cooke, Coals
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Wry songs from this Washington artist that recall the homespun charm of early Mountain Goats.
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Remember That I Love You
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For the next week, proceeds from Kimya Dawson’s albums on Bandcamp will go to the family of Charleena Lyles.
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